If you’re an 80’s baby like me you might remember those “choose your own adventure” books. The whole idea is to assume the role of the main character and the book periodically presents you with options. The choices you make determine the story’s ending. The thrill is in the mystery and anticipation; not knowing what will happen next! I being an eager child (& now adult) often decided to skip all of the build-up, and stress by flipping to the back and reading all three endings at once. That way I could choose the ending I liked the best and enjoy reading the story with the comfort of knowing how it ends. Only, once the adventure book lost it’s mystery it also lost its excitement. It ended up on a cluttered bedside table with a tangled up yo-yo and an abandoned braid of gimp. My impatience and need to know rushed the book and took all of the joy out of it!
I eventually grew out of the adventure books and gimp and graduated to horoscopes. I remember my dad read mine to me out of the paper a couple of times growing up, they were always on the place mats at our favorite Chinese restaurant, and they were in the back of all of my mom’s old magazines. When I was applying for my first medical assisting job I was spending a lot of time on the computer searching for positions, revising my resume, typing cover letters, and filling out long applications. After a few long weeks I got a call back to interview for a per-diem position. As a young single mother, this interview was everything!
The day of the interview I was a mess of nerves. I had printed a fresh copy of my resume, had a professional outfit picked out and I knew they were interested in me and my qualifications. Yet, despite my preparedness, not knowing how the interview would go seriously put me on edge! So I turned to good old Google and found an astrology website. I read the daily forecast for my sign but what it had to say wasn’t relevant. I was all over the site! My weekly said something different than my daily, my Chinese said something else, it must not have been accurate! Back to Google…before I knew it I was flipping virtual tarot cards, asking the same question with different answers every time, desperately searching for any type of assurance or consistency. I realized I had taken it too far when I found myself clicking on a virtual magic 8 ball under which a small disclaimer read: for entertainment purposes only.
I knew none of those things could give me the answer. Nothing I clicked or read or imagined would change the outcome of the interview once it ended. It would be up to the employer to decide and was out of my shaking hands. I had no choice but to be confident, take a deep breath and have faith. Once I took the burden of the outcome off of my shoulders and handed it to God I was able to relax. I got the job and it kick started a career in the company which lasted 7 years (Left on great terms to have my 2nd daughter!)
Patience is a virtue and one I have obviously not attained yet because it is a lesson that keeps presenting itself to me over and over again. It is a message God tries to get to me through every channel in my life. In my marriage, motherhood, and even in every day annoyances like losing my keys or my fully clothed baby spitting up as I wrangle her into her car seat. It is in these moments that I can choose to become frazzled or to laugh and place my worries in the capable hands of our Heavenly Father.
In the midst of all my scatter brained planning I need to remember to choose peace over anxiety and just enjoy the journey. I know that some enjoy horoscopes but for me it became a hindrance. If I truly believe that everything happens for a reason then I should live that area of my faith genuinely by living in the present moment and resisting the desire to know what’s to come. God is gracious to offer us blessed assurance and grace in which to live out our lives. I don’t need to choose my own adventure. Instead I choose the beauty and the joy of the unknown path before me, for I know that God has a plan even when I do not. God has authored my story with his mighty hand, is leading me through it and best of all He is waiting for me at the end.
In what ways have you learned to trust and let go? Comment below!