Yesterday was tough. Really tough. It was one of those days. You know the kind. Where it all seems to be falling apart and you can barely keep it together. Where you run on coffee and adrenaline. One of those days that you just don’t stop. I knew there was a lot to do that day and wanted it to start off with some quiet time with God.
I tried in the morning but was busy making coffee and lunches for my hubs and my middle-schooler. I got them out the door and put my nephew on the bus. Then I went to town hall to pay a bill forgot my checkbook and had to go to the ATM and back. Then I picked up my grandfather and brought him to the bank. I swapped my Papa for my puppy and headed to the vet. I got some concerning news about our beloved dog (she’s fine after all!) and quietly panicked over the price of a single blood test. When we finally got back home the kids were cranky. The baby spit up on me 5 times and my toddler is in the stage of taking off her diaper and streaking across the house.
The plumber came to fix the nozzle on the tub when I was nursing. When I stopped and got up to answer the door the baby cried, the dog barked, and my phone rang all at once. I scurried between the bathroom to be with the plumber, and the kitchen where my hands washed almost every dish, cup, and piece of silverware we own. Otherwise we couldn’t have had dinner.
Thank God there was a leftover Sunday morning pancake and mac and cheese in the fridge for my toddler that day because all I had was coffee and a piece of toast. Between the appointments, the errands, the housework and the mothering I had completely spaced lunch for myself. My preteen kept playing her computer game instead of cleaning her room and was giving me some major sass! My husband came home and we argued then made up. Then when I thought I could finally crash into my pillows, the little ones woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep!
All through the day all I wanted was that quiet time with God. My soul kept crying out and longing for peace yet the business of a full life overwhelmed me. No, I didn’t get the chance to sit in silence and pray with focus and believe me, it was far from quiet but I did have time with God yesterday.
He was with me in the car as I drove from place to place. With me at the vet when I teared up under my hat. With me as I prayed for stamina over the kitchen sink. With me when my husband and I humbled ourselves and embraced in front of a bubbling stove-top. With me as I smiled for my babies even though I felt like griping. With me when I prayed with my oldest before turning out her light.
Before the real chaos of the day had set in I loaded the babes up in my old car. I shut the door and something in the air caught my eye. It was the smallest white feather I had ever seen! I followed its flight and pinched it from the air. I studied it, marveling that something so small would be designed with such intricacy; created with such care. It was God’s way of saying, “I care for you. I know what’s up ahead and I am with you always.” God invites us to take refuge under his wings. To lean on him through the intricacies of our lives and the small trials of our days. That tiny little feather brought with it a great deal of grace for what was ahead. I didn’t have to search for it, it floated down and came to me right where I stood. Yesterday was tough but I have hope for today because I know he is with me.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge. ~Psalm 91:4