Marked for Salvation

The Tattoo

When I was 17 years old I got my first tattoo. I was at the home of my then boyfriend’s friend who was a tattoo artist and was getting black ink embedded into my hip in the form of a Celtic knot symbol. I did this of course without permission behind my mother’s back and was very pleased with myself thinking how smart I was to put it in a place that I could easily hide it from her. I thought I was so cool! Though the Triquetra symbol has been known to be used in various cultures and beliefs, what I thought was just representing the Irish in my blood took on new meaning later in my life. Little did I know that the symbol I chose was also known as the Trinity Knot and has historically been associated with early Christianity symbolizing the holy trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Yes, even in my rebellion it was clear that God wasn’t giving up on me that easily. Indeed, he wasn’t finished with me yet.

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The Seal of God

Ephesians 1 describes the seal of God as the Holy Spirit which comes upon you when you believe.
And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory. -Ephesians 1:13-14 (NIV)

During my defiant years I was adamant about denying the Lord but, God in his faithfulness kept his seal of protection over me. As much as I may have tried I wouldn’t break the seal of the Holy Spirit. As much as I would resist, I thankfully couldn’t erase my name from his book of life. Even when I let go, he held on to me and I’m so grateful that he did.

The Stamp

When I was 19 I was in the throes of an abusive relationship. One day I was wearing a Celtic knot cross necklace, again for style more than anything else. I got into a fight with my ex which quickly escalated and I ended up punched hard in the chest. Later that night after the chaos was over I looked in the mirror at my sad reflection. Tired eyes, bloodshot and puffy from crying, a sore face that I couldn’t bring myself to take home to my mother, and a red cross shaped bruise where the necklace once was. I never felt more alone.

The word sealed comes from a Greek word which means “to stamp with a private mark” and refers to preserving and protecting the object which is sealed. I was quite literally stamped with the mark of my salvation through the cross of Christ. I kept the charm and when I left the relationship I held onto it for years in the drawer of a jewelry box. Just to remind myself to never allow something like that to happen to me again. I didn’t know it at the time but looking back this was more evidence of God’s seal on my life. Through my sin and the circumstances it placed me in, it was a harsh reminder that I still belonged to God. Though the harm of my body might not seem like protection it was. And it would eventually lead my soul back to a place of repentance.

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Refined by Fire
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. –1 Peter 1:6-7

Soon after that physical fight another even worse one followed which lead to me and my daughter (barely 9 months old at the time) escaping that situation for good. It caused me to move home and rent an apartment from my mother which allowed my daughter grow up close to family and gave me the support I would need as a young single mom. Moving there put me back into my old hometown where I reconnected with my estranged friend group (isolation happens often within abusive relationships) including my now husband, and we fell in love.

Hindsight allows me to see that hard season as a fire that refined my faith, a harsh lesson and a blessing after all. It started a chain reaction of PTSD, anxiety, and depression which would only be healed by a relationship with the Lord and without those humbling factors I might have continued to convince myself that I didn’t need him.

The Conclusion

So many things happened because of that difficult time in my life that made me who I am today. It lead me back to my faith which is now the foundation of my life and the source of the joy I am blessed to now experience daily. It’s funny to me that both of these significant “marks”, the tattoo and the bruise, had the common theme of Celtic knots. God planned it that way so I would know for sure that it was him.

 

As I was writing this post I received a pair of earrings in the mail from my Dad for my upcoming 30th birthday-Celtic crosses! The emblems though they remained the same in each situation have been transformed. Just like God gave new names to people changed by his grace in the scriptures, so these symbols and experiences take on new meaning to me in the light of God’s love. No matter how hard our battle, we can turn our trials into inspiration and the symbols of our struggles into symbols of our strength.

How have your trials refined you? How has God made his mark on your life?

If you or someone you know are in an abusive situation help is available. It is possible to move on, heal, and live a better life!

❤ Cait

The Liebster Award 2018

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Hello Dear Readers,

Recently I was honored to be nominated for the 2018 Liebster Award! Writing has always been such a huge passion of mine. It is part of the fabric of my being yet, I have struggled to share it over the years. I recently banished my shyness and fear of judgment in favor of following my dreams and fulfilling what I know is my purpose in this life which is to write. I hope you all have been enjoying reading this blog as much as I have enjoyed writing it!

Connecting with other bloggers and reading their blogs has been such a cool experience for me. I want to give my sincere thanks to Amy at Dear Heart for the nomination and encourage all my readers to follow her blog! It is beautifully laid out and covers a variety of topics from travel to faith to great finds to family, motherhood and more! I love reading her writing because it is so relatable and feels just like talking to a friend!

Ten Facts About Me~

  • I live in the same small town in Massachusetts that both my husband and I grew up in. As a kid I thought it was boring but, as I grew older I began to appreciate the rural life and history of my hometown which was founded in 1683!
  • I am a poet and story teller at heart. I have books, journals, and pages full of poems of all styles and lengths. I also have many book ideas and hope to write a novel one day!
  • I became a mother right out of high school at the age of 18. I survived an abusive relationship but was later blessed with my husband who has raised my oldest daughter as his own since she was 2 years old. She is 11 now and our family is happy, thriving and growing. My second daughter Claire will turn 2 right before the birth of her baby sister or brother this June!
  • I am eclectic when it comes to my musical taste. I like everything from classic rock to top 20 pop, to country to rap. You will find a little bit of everything on my playlist!
  • I worked for years as a medical assistant in a variety of clinical office settings including acupuncture and most recently managed a chiropractic office. Those environments sparked a strong interest in natural remedies and alternative medicine. I even went to college for a short time to pursue nursing. I am now home full time with my kids and love it! My previous experiences as a single working mom allows me to appreciate every moment home with my kiddos and though I sometimes miss my old career I wouldn’t change where I am now for the world!
  • I love to read and am a die hard library card holder. There is something special about an old library book and a dog-eared page that I just can’t get from my kindle! Have you read any good books lately? If so leave your suggestions in the comments so I can check them out! I am always looking for a good book to curl up with!
  • I have an Etsy shop where I sell hand made nursery, home, and wedding decor. I used to give them away or as gifts until someone suggested Etsy to me. I find creating things to be very therapeutic and nothing makes me happier than seeing others get excited about something that was so much fun for me to make! My favorite is macrame and other fiber arts but I am hoping to learn to sew as well.
  • I love nature and have always felt such a strong connection to it. Nothing makes me happier than a woodsy walk, a day at the beach, or sitting by a lake watching a gorgeous sunset. Even more ironic is that I named my oldest daughter Autumn then a few years later started dating my husband who’s last name (and now mine) is Winters!
  • I grew up Catholic but, fell away from my faith as a teen. After I started dating my now husband and my life began to stabilize I felt God calling me back to him. I searched spiritually for a while but found my way back to the Church a couple of years before I got married. I consider myself a “re-vert” and a Christian. I love drawing closer to Jesus by learning about my faith through fresh eyes. Like my hometown I see the beauty in my spiritual home of the Church now more than ever!
  • I am a master song-maker! I love to make up silly tunes about ordinary tasks for my kids. I always sing in a goofy way but don’t sound that bad when I am in the car alone and no one can here me. If I wasn’t so shy I would perfect it and make it a hobby.
In my element, sunbathing by the lake!

Q & A~

  1. What was the last movie you saw in the theater, how was it? An anime movie from 1986 called “Castle in the Sky”. My oldest daughter loves to read manga and watch anime and a local theater plays selections from the renowned Studio Ghibli about once a month. The showing was in Japanese with subtitles and it was cool to see it on the big screen!
  2. What is your favorite book? This is too tough a question to answer! I love so many so, instead I’ll list some genres, mostly books about spirituality, romance novels, history and classic literature.
  3. What book are you currently reading? I’m actually between books at the moment! Any suggestions?
  4. Are you a dog or cat person? Why? Both! The first pet our family had was a white cat named Lucky. Neither me or my husband were particularly “cat people” but, she was like no other cat we had ever known, a cat with a dog’s personality! Sadly she was scared out of our yard by our former neighbor’s loud lawn equipment and we haven’t been able to find her. That was about a year ago and we don’t have the heart to get another cat. Currently we have a dog and we love her!
  5. What do you believe is your greatest accomplishment? Definitely my family. I always wanted to be a wife and mother so I feel like I am living that dream.
  6. Where is your favorite place to travel? Down to Arizona where my best friend lives. It is such an opposite landscape, dialect, and lifestyle to here in New England. Although it is in the same country it might as well be another planet as everything there is so different! Last trip we got to go to the desert and crack rocks to search for geodes! It was the desert equivalent of shelling at the beach and I thought it was so fun.
  7. What is the best gift you have ever received? Definitely my engagement ring!
  8. Who are those public voices that currently influence you? (Pastors, motivating speakers, celebrities, etc.) I am so inspired by the speaker and author Autumn Miles! I found her on YouTube after the birth of my youngest when I was looking for something inspiring to listen to during a walk. I searched Proverbs 31 and she popped up. My oldest girl’s name is Autumn as well so it drew me in and I have been soaking in her words ever since! I listen to her Texas based radio show through Podbean when I drive or do housework and I highly recommend it.
  9. In your life, what would you describe as your most courageous act you yourself have done? Leaving toxic people in my past, facing my problems and working to change them.
  10. What is your favorite guilty pleasure? Chocolate, wine, and reading in a hot bath (if I can do it all at once it’s even better LOL).
  11. If you could travel to any place in the entire world, where would you go and why? There are too many places I would love to go and have yet to travel to but the top of my list currently is Ireland. I love the thought of all the history and magic in the land there and would love to drink at a pub and see the beautiful green hills.

My Nominations~

Mel at Loving Simplicity– Step by step DIY, crafts, recipes, and simple living!

Erin at Mrs. Mother Dirt-A nature loving Mama sharing stories of family life, fun unplugged ideas, and interesting opinionated essays.

The writers at The Millennial Fiat -Heartfelt posts about faith that inspire and go straight to the heart!

Nikki at Our Jolly Little Home-A blogger with variety! Recipes, opinions, stories from the heart.

Heather at Midsummer Daydreamer -A fellow anxiety warrior sharing personal stories and practical advice

11 Questions I would like you to answer~

  1. What is a piece of advice you’ve received that you want share with others?
  2. Who is the most inspiring person in your life and why?
  3. How do you de-stress?
  4. How would you describe your personal clothing style?
  5. What is on your bedside table right now?
  6. What is your favorite on-the-go snack?
  7. Do you consider yourself more of an introvert or an extrovert? Explain.
  8. Describe a fun date you’ve been on!
  9. If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead who would you dine with and why?
  10. Tell us about an item on your bucket list!
  11. What do you like most about blogging?

Rules of the Liebster Award 2018~

1) Thank the person who nominated you, and put a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you.

2) Display the award on your blog.

3) Write a small post about what makes you passionate about blog posting.

4) Provide 10 random facts about yourself.

5) Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel would enjoy blogging about this award.

6) List these rules in your post.

7) Inform the people/blogs that you nominated.

For more detailed information on the Liebster Award 2018 visit here.

To accept the nomination answer my questions, tag me and notify me of your post by commenting below! I can’t wait to read your answers! Remember to nominate other bloggers so we can all continue discovering new blogs, building relationships, and supporting one another!

❤ Cait

Sharer’s Remorse

Have you ever experienced buyer’s remorse? Those yet to be worn stilettos in your closet tell me yes! As a writer I tend to suffer from sharer’s remorse. I will get inspired and excited and turn to social media as an outlet and end up posting a poem, opinion, or status more personal and meaningful than my usual funny cat memes. Then the neurosis begins! I hit post and read it over and over again (I’m an editor at heart). If I read it enough times I can convince myself that what I was so proud to post a few minutes ago is really lame! My introvert side deflates and drags my openness back into the safe dark turtle shell.

If you pay attention to the time stamps you will see that this was also the case with this very blog (and Instagram)! I created the account confident enough but the things I learned in my college writing classes became a hang up! What was my tone? Who is my audience and am I writing to their needs? Do I have authority to speak on these topics? I’m no expert. I struggle. Does anyone care what I have to say? How DO I feel about that?! WHO EVEN AM I?!

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As a people-pleaser by nature I have always struggled with others’ perceptions of me. I have always had a hard time fitting perfectly into the little labels, boxes and expectations that people put on one another (that I truly think NO ONE lives up to 100%). Am I too much of this? Not enough that? Alas, I am an enigma and always have been. In me as in everyone exists flesh and spirit, dark and light. I am a work in progress not yet complete. Even so, God has plans for me just as I am. He knows my heart. He created me (and you!) to reflect and spread his love in a very specific and individual way. The truth is that if I wait until I’m perfect I will be waiting forever. I don’t believe that is my purpose.

I am working toward being myself and loving myself fully, writing my truth and letting others appreciate it or not. Its okay to express my feelings! I am after all speaking on the world from behind my own eyes and examining MY own existence here and no one else’s. Yes, I’m flawed but maybe someone can relate. If I can help one person not feel so alone then its worth the potential criticism, and exposure of my innermost self (which is at its very core shy yet at the same time has so much to say). I know that if I want to connect with people in any genuine way that it requires honesty, transparency, and a bit of bravery. This passion wasn’t placed in my heart so I could hide it away. Gifts are meant to be shared.

Have you ever experienced sharer’s remorse? What are your passions and gifts? Comment below!

❤ Cait